When oh when are these hillbillies going to stop giving the rest of the world such great opportunities to make fun of The South?

Randy Lewis, that’s him in the cool tee shirt above, and Paula Elaine Evans set to havin a few brewskis the other day while hanging out with the yung uns. Oh yeah, they had a bit o liquor too. And some pills. When the mental giants were too wasted to drive home, little Billy came to the rescue and offered to drive them home. Problem is, little Billy is 10 years old and apparently hasn’t figured out the difference between LA Rush and real roads yet.

When you do 90 in LA Rush, its fun to go 90 and crash into stuff. Not so much in the real world.

Check out the hottest Mom in county lockup after the break
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All that little Kalli Sipe wanted was to enjoy her 5th birthday. The party went sideways though, when her parents started loading scrap lumber into the family van. While Ma & Pa were humping wood, the family pooch made his way to the driver’s seat, stepped on the gas and rolled the poor kid. Internal and external road rash ensued. All seems to be well though, as Kalli lived and the dog has been forgiven.

So many questions here:
Why was the van left running with the driver’s door open?
How poorly maintained was the van that the dog was able to bypass the park lock?
Was the dog really smart enough to depress the brake and pull the shift lever?
Why does a family with small kids have a pit bull type mutt?
Since when do we allow untrained puppies to roam free without a leash?
Are Ma & Pa really brother & sister?

You know how the old saying goes: You need a license to drive, but you don’t need a license to procreate!

Source NBC6 via Truemors

I reported on Motor Trend Radio this weekend that Volkswagen has the lofty ambition of putting together an arsenal of vehicles that will place it in the position to be a formidable competitor to Toyota. If that’s the case they better start cracking. Their ultimate goal is to triple sales in the U.S. over the next ten years.

VW has believed in partnerships in the past. The German automaker has previously teamed up with Porsche to develop the Touareg SUV, which shares a platform with the Porsche Cayenne.

VW Touareg

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In October Nissan released an early exterior shot of their new FORUM minivan concept.

The concept is set to be unveiled at the North American International Auto Show in January.

From the sketch one of the cooler aspects of the vehicle I am looking forward to seeing first hand is the lack of B-pillars. The minivan will operate with trackless sliding doors.
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With the rebirth of The New Chrysler, the marketing gurus at Auburn Hills have their work cut out for them as they try to reinvent the brand. Cutting out in fact is exactly what they have in mind to promote the 2008 Dodge Caravan. Given that families are the most likely to be in the market for a new minivan, what better market to tackle than millions of craft obsessed Moms?

With the help of Better Homes & Gardens scrapbooking experts, Dodge will attempt to break the Guiness World Record for the World’s Largest Photo Album. How do they intend to break this cut and paste record? By inviting consumers to add their memories to Dodge Caravan Page In History album, Dodge hopes to fill a 20 page, 9 x 12 book with Caravan memories. Oh yes, that’s 9 feet by 12 feet! This is going to be one BIG photo album.

To learn how you can join the paper cutting fun, read the full press release after the break
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More and more consumers are realizing that they want to drive something with a bit more pizazz than a minivan these days. While we might all want to drive a sports car, for most of us reality dictates that we need something with a bit more utility. These opposing needs are what has fueled the growing CUV market. Smaller than a full size SUV, less seating than a minivan, this niche offers good looking, sporty vehicles that can haul some gear. The newest player is the attractive 2007 Ford Edge which combines a sporty look and feel with a healthy dose of utility. In fact, the Edge offers more utility than the FX-35 that we spent time with earlier this year.
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Mitsubishi in other parts of the world, Mitsubishi has built a reputation for building some pretty tough vehicles that withstand some off road abuse as well as regular paved roads. Imagine a mini van that you can take off roading. Well, Mitsubishi has the answer for the JDM consumer: the Delica D:5. A super strong minivan that is capable on and off road. The ultimate camping machine. Now if we can only convince them to bring this boxy tool to North America.

full press release after the break
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As some other traditional domestics are ditching their minivan products, the originator of the segment has been working away at the newest version of their bread and butter. Daimler Chrysler has a lot at stake with the next generation Caravan and they need to get it right. In a segment where everybody and their brother is offering easy stowing seats, dvd screens and navi, DCX needed to pull out on the stops on the features front if they are planning on wooing soccer moms across North America.
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With offices in Cali and the Motor City, AutoPacific keeps tabs on the auto industry and consumer opinion. With this in mind, they have released their list of the Top Rated vehicles. This list indicates vehicles that are considered closest to their ideal package by owners. Manufacturers should pay attention to this list, as it showcases what buyers really think of their vehicles.

Top-rated 2006 Ideal Vehicle brand: Hyundai
Top-rated 2006 Ideal Product Segment: Large Car/Luxury Car

Top rated 2006 Ideal Vehicles by segment:

PASSENGER CARS:
Premium Luxury Car                           Lexus LS
Entry Luxury Car                             BMW 3-Series
Large Car/Luxury Car                         Mercury Montego
Premium Mid-Size Car                         Hyundai Sonata
Mid-Size Car                                 Mercury Milan
Image Compact Car                            Toyota Prius
Compact Car                                  Ford Focus
Sports Car                                   Porsche 911
Sporty Car                                   Acura RSX

SUT, SUV, and MINIVAN:
Sport Utility Truck                          Honda Ridgeline
Luxury Sport Utility                         BMW X-5
Large Sport Utility                          GMC Yukon
Premium Mid-Size Sport Utility               Nissan Murano
Mid-Size Sport Utility                       Hyundai Santa Fe
Compact Sport Utility                        Subaru Forester
Minivan                                      Honda Odyssey

I’m not usually one to complain too much about gas prices. I drive an suv, mainly by choice, but partially because we need at least one vehicle with some cargo space and towing capacity. I refuse to drive a minivan on principle, not that a Quest gets any better gas mileage than an Xterra.

This morning, the low fuel light was on so I had no choice to stop and put in gas. Or perhaps I should say liquid gold!$1.02 a liter!! I put in $35 and it only filled the tank half way. This is freakin brutal. Of course Karting starts this weekend, so switching to a car won’t be happening any time soon.

To put all of this into perspective for all you American readers, there are roughly 4 liters to a gallon. At the current exchange rate, that works out to roughly $3.27 US dollars a gallon! A quick online search shows gas prices in Buffalo taday ranging from $2.52 to $2.85 a gallon. Buffalo is about an hour long drive from downtown Toronto.

Us Canadians are a quiet bunch who don’t freak out about stuff, but perhaps this is something we should start sounding off about.