A few minutes ago, our man in Connecticut, Tom Williams posted the following on his Facebook wall:
had lunch at Whole Foods, which was fine, but what puzzled me was the guy who parked his Chrysler 300 in the “Fuel Efficient Car” parking spot.
Now I love a good $22 Whole Foods sandwich as much as the next guy and I can certainly see the humor of a 300 parked in a spot designated for a fuel efficient car. Where I’m a bit confused is the need for a Fuel Efficient Car area of the lot.
Are these spots for FEC’s located by the parking lot entrance furthest from the door to ensure drivers don’t waste fuel in an effort to travel towards an alfalfa laden mid day treat? Do they locate them between the handicap spots and the door so that smug Prius owners can give the finger to those who consume more black gold?
All of this got me thinking about some of the other special parking spots we have these days.
The Original: spots for those with challenged mobility
I’m not sure what the PC term is these days. Handicap spots, Handicapped spots, Disabled parking. Whatever you call it, these spots make sense. What doesn’t make sense is for the lazy ass parents of a challenged kid to use them when the kid isn’t in the car. We see this all the time. You are perfectly able bodied, leave the spot for someone who actually has their mobility challenged family member in the car with them!
The spot for Mother with small child
Ok, so you don’t have control over your unruly little spawn. Get some parenting skills, stop pandering to your kids’ every whim and make the little shits walk across the parking lot. Why is it that these spots are only for mothers? Do Dad’s not qualify for the convenience? What constitutes small? My 11 year old is short, can he be considered small please?
The spot for families with small child
As above but with more parental ambiguity.
The spot for pregnant women
This one is a pet peeve of Mrs G. Pregnancy is not a disease or a disability. Get off your ass you lazy cow and walk like the rest of us.
Before some of you go all sideways on me about the 3 spots above, perhaps I should clarify a couple of things. Yes, I do know how much of a pain it is to shop with kids. We have 3 of them. Again, learn some parenting skills and make your kids do what they are told. No special spot needed. I also know that some women have troubled pregnancies. They call it bed rest for a reason. You shouldn’t be out scarfing trendy lunch treats with your girlfriends. Mrs G had pretty normal pregnancies. The first time, we strapped her into a performance rally car for a winter rally on roads that were somewhat akin to goat paths. At 7 months! If she can do that, you can walk to the salad bar from the parking lot.
The spot for deaf persons
Since when does deafness become an ambulatory issue?
A quick tour around the googleverse brings me to Bungalow Bill who points out that Best Buy in his corner of the world also offers the aforementioned FEC parking spot. That’s right, you get a special spot by the door for your Smart at a store that you would visit to buy a television larger than said car. Dumb.
To finish up my rant, there is a big story from Quebec involving the Canadian Human Rights Commission and a 400 pound woman who require oxygen to walk. It seems that Skinnie Minnie felt that her condo should boot someone else out of their parking spot and give it to her so she didn’t have to walk so far.
I’m sure there are more examples of silly parking spaces out there, so let’s have it folks. What Special Parking Spots have you seen?